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2005-05-20 - 12:07 a.m. Jump, Gina, NOW! It's been over a week, and the pains are going away, the bruises fading, and now, I feel totally different. A day after I did my jumps at the New York Trapeze School, and for the days following, my body had taken such a shock - I was throwing up, shaking, and my ribs and my shoulders were in such horrible pain that it hurt to lift my hand to my face to brush back my hair. I was out of work for days. But my mindset is changing. I cannot believe I actually DID this, me, clutsy me, who, as my sister says, trips over pillows on the floor in my apartment - and I got to the top of that narrow ladder, 25 feet up, when I normally cringe going up three rungs of the ladder in my apartment to try and change a lightbulb. How cool is that, that I faced such a fear of heights? Days after, I kept telling people, That was the stupidest thing I've ever done - what was I thinking? The other five trapeeze flyers there were under 20, under 110-lb. 'Young Thangs' taking swigs from Evian bottles, with elaborate tatoos above their ass-cracks (insert old Italian saying: 'and I mean no dis-respect') who take ballet and work out at the gym five days a week, and then, oh then, there was me. And afterwards I kept hearing back from people who know me, Oh! We are so proud of you, that you actually DID it! And, you know, I AM proud of me, also! So, I've started to think...what if I become stronger, stretch more; maybe months from now I'll try this again. Two days after I made my jumps I would never have said that, but yeah, now I can say that. That's how powerful this experience has been. Or, What A Fool Am I!