powered by SignMyGuestbook.com

2006-04-03 - 11:39 p.m. Olde English Dark Stain Oil Furniture Polish, a pound of Ronzoni Capellini, a bucket of Joint Compound, a quart of Italian-flavored breadcrumbs, a $4.00 can of premium white meat chicken...What do these things have in common? Gretta, the newly-adopted sweet-natured long-haired German Shepherd Dog has a few quirky habits. Turns out there's a good reason why her teeth are all brown and whittled down...she Eats Strange Stuff. In the first instance, I was in the living room where I could see her calmly lying in the kitchen. Later, walking into my bedroom, it smelled like chicken soup - she'd acquired and chewed through a large can of white meat chicken, on my bed - and I now had a chicken-scented bed. A day or so later the quart box of Italian-seasoned breadcrumbs was the next surprise - I now had a bed of breadcrumbs. Luckily she doesn't try to kill the vacuum cleaner like RexDog did. A couple of days later her big butt bumped a shelf and an old plastic bottle of furniture polish fell to the floor - I thought, I'll pick it up in a sec - I came back to the bedroom and my sheets and bedspread had a 3-foot spread of dark brown stinky furniture stain all over. I still smell furniture polish on my mattress. I have to say the capellini was too too funny. When I do art, I become oblivious to everything. I was working on a commissioned piece for someone at work, finished, and feeling really satisfied with myself, wandered into the bedroom, which was dark. My feet made crunching noises wherever I stepped. When I snapped on the light, there was Gretta, sitting at the head of the bed, with a wide doggy-smile, mounds of pick-up-sticks of ultra-thin spaghetti covering the bed, the floor...a mangled box of Ronzoni Capellini pasta at the foot of the bed. That was over a week ago, and I still find crackly tiny pieces of spaghetti in my soft little chenille slipper socks. The last great averted chewing episode was a couple of nights ago. I found her on the bed smiling that silly doggy smile, a quart tub of sheetrock joint compound between her big furry paws. That would not in any way have turned out well. There's just so many places I can hide things and no way to guess what she'll get into. She hasn't been acting out this last week. I think she was just testing her new environment a bit. Gotta love Gretta.